My weekend started on a good note but spoilt by the ADC plane crash,its tragic and sad and my friend's childhood friend was among the victim.We were at the church when he received a text message from another friend of the crash and he shouted and all the church member were alarmed till they got to know why he did that.

I want to use this forum to console the families of the victims that God in his infinity will heal their heart.May we never witness such again in this country,father lord should please forgive everyone of us our sins.

My man is been harassing me with calls since we met accidentally in Port harcourt and i refuse to picked his calls because i dont want to hear cock and bull stories.I got home yesterday to see a lovey dovey card and a basket containing all range of toiletries and perfume in my living room-shooo i don be beautiful bride being courted.I was touched by the gesture and called his line,he quickly picked it at the first rang and was just darlin darlin me but i just said thanks for the gift.He wanted to know if i still feel for him and what we need to do to get the groove back and he could create that time for us to go somewhere together for a week which i just said i will think about it and call him for weekend.
This life is somehow,two years ago-i was that lonely old cargo praying that any man should come into my life and make me complete because in Africa,you can have all the riches and position but if you are not Mrs somebody,your friends and enemies will laugh at you behind you and make you feel inferior.My mother always tell me that mine will come and i should not rush myself to stupid arrangement and now i begin to see her point.But what do i do now?hang on to another woman's husband or stay with a seperated partner but what if they get back together,afterall they are not divorce.

Thank God for sallah break,I had time to unwind and relax.I used the opportunity to travel to Portharcourt to see my best friend who just gave birth to twins after 15 years of marriage.Iam so happy for her and the husband,you can imagine the agonising period they shared together.I got there Saturday morning and intend staying in hotel but my friend couldnt hear that,she wondered why i have to do that since they have a whole house with boys quarter to themselves and cant imagine the kind of privacy i needed that their house cant provide.I acted the role of godmother perfectly and even asked her to have 2 nights with her hussy undisturbed,i assisted her nanny with the night duties.Her husband insisted on showing me the hospitality of the city and we were out saturday night to an exclusive club for the yupies and you can imagine my discovery.As soon as we got there,my friend hussy was all over the place and i saw another side of him,i always see him as the quite and faithful husband but he painted the place red with all those curvy belles.I just sat in a corner discussing with one of his friend he introduced to me but he was definately trying to matchmake us.

I was just enjoying myself there when i noticed a familiar figure and behold,its my oga with a handbag and somehow i was jealous but pretended as if i did not see him.I was monitoring him from afar,he looked so handsome and had the mind of going to his table but didnt want to embarrassed myself.I later followed my company to the dance floor and i was deliberately flirting with him so that if he sees me ,he will feel what i was feeling.This thing called emotions can betray you at anytime,this is me saying i want to move on but my heart is still with him.He eventually saw me and came over to our table and i greeted him like a lost friend and nothing more and asked him to enjoy his stay.

I wonder how girls who do runs cope with all the troubles,I landed myself in a tight corner again yesterday.My friend called me as i was about to round up for the day,that he was somewhere close to my office and was thinking if he could picked me up for a drink somewhere and i should probably leave my car in the office since he can drop me at home and even pick me up in the morning for office.Since iam already enjoying his company and i guess creating time together can make me know him well-i just said its okay without thinking of the consequence of my action as my oga says he will be in my place later. He took less than 10 minutes to get to me and had to leave the car and ask my driver to meet me in the office tomorrow instead of coming home.My heart was beating very fast as i did not know how to manage my situation-wanting to give another person a chance and at the same time not making my dear feel used and dumped.I had to put my phone on silence when we got to the place in order to feel relax and enjoy myself.The place turned out to be a joint for the big guys and is exclusive,i saw one of our director there with a babe but he didnt see me.We just gisted generally,bought suya and drinks.On our way back to my place,he asked me what i think of him and does he have a chance with me.I just said he is fun to be with and i always enjoy his company but need time to get to know him all over again and he wonder why i need that time as we grew up together and have a lot in common and if we put our mind in the relationship,something concrete could develop.

We got to my house around 11pm and was smart enough to get to my door first and picked the note my man dropped.He followed me in and immediately he entered,he just move closer to me and gave me a deep kiss and God,that guy smell good and couldnt resist responding.Iam really in a fix,how can i start two timing at my age and exposure-i hate scandal of any sort.

After my visit to Oye's place last sunday and his explanation on his seperation with his wife,i began to see him in a different way.I never want to be in the same position as iam with my dear,so i certainly want to know and understand the situation and weight my coin.I did not bother to ask him about the boy in the picture as it will look somehow,i want him to come out with the whole story-i dont want to be too inquisitive.He is a nice guy and tight upstairs-there is nothing like a guy you can connect with intellectually but i still need to be careful and do my own finding before i can make up my mind on moving the relationship to another level.

My dear called me in the office today to ask after my general well being and to know how i spend my weekend and whether i even miss him at all which i answered positively. I knew he wanted to know whether i was at home or not and start his sermon on my new found friend but i didnt give him that pleasure.He said he will be in my place later if i dont have other engagement for the evening and i just pretend as if i didnt hear the snide comment and i said its okay and that my house is his and will be welcome any day!.I think i need to get my ass together though its flattering to know you can still get attention despite being on the shelve for long but at my level,i need to put things right but how do i go about it .

Weekend was good,i had a nice time.My friend was in my house friday evening and we ended up going to jazz club and i really enjoyed myself, he was all over me like mother hen and he ensure everybody knows he was with me and cant just grab me but was tired on saturday and had to stay indoor as its be a long while i loosen up like that.I think somehow iam rediscovering some things buried in me,i guess due to pressure of job and being a good girl to my main man-i have lot touch with happenings.My friend's call woke me up around 4pm on saturday and couldnt belief i slept for so long,i think my body need a lot of exercise if i can crashed like that after a night-out.He called to remind me of our earlier plan to picked me up in the evening so that i can get to know his place and he was in my place for 6.30 and for God knows what,i was nervous and behaving like a teenager going on her first date.He lives in a duplex in Lekki phase 1 and cosy place and he has nice taste and he took me round the house and no female touch and i saw a boy picture in the sitting room and in his bedroom which he said he is his son but not from his wife.I was curious to know more about him but did not want to look too inqisitive and desperate.We rounded up the inspection in his garden at the back of the house and i just kept quite and just looking which he noticed and asked me loosen up.

He told me what led to his seperation from his wife-they did not have kids after ten years in marriage and he was supportive about it all but she woke up one day and said they should try other people as it seems they are not compatible.He thought it was a joke after all the battle they had gone through but she had her plans,she just packed out one day and left a note that she has relocated to America.

I cant thank God enough for his mercies over me-things are looking up all ways for me.My friend kept in touch throughout his stay in London and iam getting to know him all over again.I had to pick him up from the airport this morning before going to office as agreed and was so excited when he saw me and i cant but kiss him.I dropped him at home on my way to office and he promise to see me later in the day.I got a surprise this afternoon when my oga called to say he saw me at the airport with the same guy he met in my house and he just decided to call me for old time sake and implore me not to just throw away what we have for unknown person and that i should be fair to him despite all our disagreement,he still love me.I was just amused that so it takes competition for this man to wake up from his slumber.This is the same man i have been begging to mellow down over his pettiness and he was behaving as if my life will stop if he leave me and now he is telling me not to throw away what we have as if he cares that much-he that for sometime now he never call nor pick my calls.I think i now understand the game-keep your man on his toes and he will be all over you.Though iam confuse about the whole issue-thanks to my mother who lectures me on how its better to stay with a divorcee than being with a married man who does not have any loyalty or commiment to me and iam just at a crossroad.

This is to appreciate everybody reading my diary,thanks for your comments-negative and positive.It gladden my heart to read different comments and also get mails from men who think they can make me happy-i love you all and keep reading my diary and i hope to be open as much as possible with happenings in my life.Thanks once again

When i got to the hotel room later,i reflected over my acceptance of his coming to meet me and i doubted if i did the right thing.Yes,we grew up together and we are more or less family friend and goes to the same family church but that doesnt mean i know him.We are now adults and have passed through different experiences and what do i know about him than my mother views which look positive but my mother is just trying to matchmake us and his folks too are encouraging it.I was at crossroad and could not call him back to stop the arrangement and i just decided to face the consequence of my action.He arrived on friday as he said and he was gentleman enough to get his room but same hotel and we had fun though there were hugs here and there but were innocent.He tookme round places as he is used to the place and i realised Dubai is a good place to visit for vacation instead of everybody jumping on plane to good old London.We parted on sunday on good note and i respect him more for the way he comported himself and was not typical Lagos guys who know nothing more than getting down to business.I think i will see him again and again but less wait and see

I was in Dubai throughout last week on an improptu official assignment,my colleague that was suppose to represent the company at the Telecomm Fair was hospitalised and management decided to send me in her place.I was not really in the mood for that after all the stress that i passed through over the weekend but who am i to say NO when my employer says YES.I called my oga that monday before i left but he was just himself asking me why i bothered to tell him and since i dont need his permission to do what i like and i just dropped the call.
I had a nice time and the fair was educating,i met quite a lot of people and i use that opportunity to unwind and visit a lot of nice spot-the place is a nice tourist centre.I called my friend from there to apologise for my behaviour on that day and he took it lightly and we even joke about the whole thing and i promise to take him out for dinner when i get back on my bill.Thereafter,he calls me day and night and we had lot to gist about and i find him intelligent and he just asked me on thursday when i was leaving and i said Sunday morning and he asked jokingly whether i could obliged him my company for 2 days and i said why not without thinking and he said he has an appointment in London for Monday afternoon and he could route his ticket through Dubai and meet on friday and leave for London on sunday and i was trapped somehow but who knows

As my bell rang,i quickly compose myself and brave up to the situation as i dont want to look like a child caught with stolen meat.He walked in with smile and hugged me,i noticed he was looking everywhere to see God knows what.He brought me some goodies and was just all over me as if iam a new catch.He was just eyeing me and saying sweet things in my ear and i was skeptical somehow bcos this is a man i had tried everything to make peace with and he was just forming and now at my mercy.Well,maybe he thought over everything and see that he need to be reasonable and mature.I did not have any special food at home so we decided to have lunch out and as we got to Golden gate,my phone rang and i just summoned courage and picked it and it was Oye calling tosay hi and to know what time to picked me and started a long conversation i just laughed and said will call you later.He stylishly asked on our way back home and i just said a friend called to get somebody number and since i did have it,its better i called her later.

We were still in our cuddling mood when my friend called again and i just picked it and said hello as if i did not hear him and just switched the phone to silence but it brought a bigger problem.I guess after calling repeated without response and i did not have that chance as the man dey monitor my move as if he knew i was up to something to text or call him to cancelled the date,he just showed up at my door step.I greeted him warmly and offered him a seat but the atmosphere was tense.I asked after his folks and business-unnecessary pleasantries and just left them in the sitting room to get my bearing.I think my friend got the message and just called me that he just stopped by to say hi and will come some other time, i just rushed out and said sorry i was just putting on something decent.I saw him off and met an angry man in tthe house,asking me all sort of stupid questions but i just kept quite as i needed my peace.The day was ruined as he left too in annoyance because i refused to answer his queries and he remembered him as the guy i hugged at the airport and he felt betray.

I have never been in a situation that i experience last saturday.I was suppose to have dinner with my friend-Oye on that day as agreed but something was just not right as i just woke up feeling somehow as per the direction of my personal life.Reuby woke me up with his call very early in the morning telling me he has a function somewhere in badagry and want to know if its okay with me to go with him and i was like he should have informed me earlier so that i can organise myself,he just said that means he now need permission to be with me and dropped.Iam not ready for all that nonsense and in any case i have not asked for too much,respect beget respect and i have made up my mind that he either trust me or do whatever that suits him. I was just relaxing in the house watching niger home video since i dont have the intention of going out till later in the day and a private call came in on my cell,ordinarily i dont pick such call but i did and it turned out to be my man saying is on my street and will be with me in the next five minutes and will stay overnight and i just said iam in.I was just confused and can not see how i can get myself out of it and can not tell him not to stay like that without any reason as he is a nice person despite his attitude these days and i know he is just being a typical Africa man-too possessive.

My childhood friend have been calling me day and night since we parted at the church,telling me how he is being in love with me for long but did not have the courage to tell me as i was too formal with the guys and my parent being very strict -he never have the liver to express his feelings and after his seperation with his wife,he just decided he should go back to his root and look for somebody he knows very well and his parent have been encouraging him to come to the family church so that he can mix with the people he grew up with and his chance meeting with me at the airport change all that and he likes me and we should give it a chance and see how far we can take it.Iam always polite to him but never promise anything as i dont want to double deal though my man is not married to me but i think i owe him that because he is being good to me and didnt deserve such treatment.

Funnily,Reuby called today to say hello and asked after my well being and if i still remember him at all and i just said iam okay and been busy with work and since he abandoned me God have been faithful to me in all ways.He wanted to know if my folks have been asking of his whereabout and what i told them which i replied that they never asked and i didnt bother to tell them anything but i noticed he didnt like my reply and he said he is sure my mother will be happy to see us seperated as she never support our relationship.I just ignored his comment and asked after his family and he just said fine.We did not have much to discuss as he is still feeling uptight and i dont want to sound desperate and be apologetic for doing nothing.

My parent invited me for special evening service in their church yesterday and i had no choice than to just make that time out from my tight schedule.I left office early to have time to go home and change to something casual and suitable for the outing.I tried not to argue with my parent again when it come to religion matter and when they tried to advise me as they mean well for me.It was when i got there that i realise why my mother insisted on my coming as if their church is where God hear prayer.It was a sort of reunion service as i saw quite a lot of people that i have not seen for a long time and my friend that i saw at the airport the other day was there and he came over to meet me and told me my mother told him i will be there when he asked after me from her as i did not give him my phone numbers that day as i was in a hurry and he is been looking for way to get me as he want us to get together for a chat.

We sat together throughout the service and the pastor was more or less matchmaking the spinster as most of his preaching are based on union of like mind and how it will be good if the members can remain in the fold as we already have the christian upbringing which can be a yardstick for matrimonial harmony.We parted later with agreement that we will have dinner together on saturday and he promise to call me later which he did as soon as i got home.I later discovered through my mother that he is seperated from his wife and his parent are concerned and wish he could get a good wife from the church and i now know my mother can never change her tactics,so she is trying to matchmake us-well lets wait and see now that my big baby is misbehaving.

Updating you have become a big task for me as my schedule in the office now give me no time for other things-my personal life is really suffering.When i get home these days, i just have my bath and make few calls and off to my bed,eating so late is my not my hobby so i just slept off. When we are at the lower cadre of management,we think the people there have it all but the pressure they go through we never know and now,i know better-executive stress is a killer and i intend to slow down before i breakdown.My big boy is still doing his shakara and i intend to show him this time around that the fact that i decided to stay with him does not mean i still dont get stares.Surprisingly,my mother have been calling to know the latest but iam sure all she want to hear is i am not seeing him again but time will tell.

Wonder shall never end,he called me out of the blue yesterday morning that he will be arriving later in the day and that he will come directly to my house and has instructed the driver to use my car to pick him up from the airport.I decided to follow the driver to the airport to look like a good girl and probably make him feel special and understand that i do care about him but unfortunately that brought another problem,as he was just coming out and i was walking down to where he was -an old childhood friend just called my name and he happened to be somebody i can not just ignored and had to hug him and he was just holding me for too long and smiling. I saw him looking at us and i did not even know what to do or say.He just followed the driver out and i quickly excused myself and my friend was like why the hurry and wanted to know if my guest has arrived and i just say we will see again.

On our way home,he just asked if everything is okay and how are my parents and i said fine.He kept quiet for a while and later just said i can see you are fine and keeping yourself busy and i just pretended as if i didnt hear him.When we got home, I tried all ladies tricks to get him out of that his jealous mood and was just feeling somehow with himself and i tactically ignored him-your guess is as good as mine.The driver was in my place this morning with his car to take him home as agreed and i left for my office.He promise to call me later in the day. Me don tire for all these talk to me alone.

Diary,this my man is really forming despite my begging-he still have not shown up in my place.He never bothered to even call till yesterday when he called that he is somewhere in South Africa.I could not stomach the nonsense again and had to confide in my mummy when she came to my house onm sunday and as expected she started with her long story.She belief that the world is full of choices and I can get a better and less complicated person with prayer.She ended her sermon with how the patience dog eat the fattest bone and I responded that these days patience dog never get anything to eat as the impatience ones would have finished them but she still refused to buy my argument.After she left my place,I thought of all she said and iam like what the hell is the man getting annoyed over,he has not caught me with another man and he himself is enjoying two worlds and i give him his space and dont bother my head on what happen in his private life and he is unnecessary jealous,what else does he want,to mortgage my life to him-No way

My dear have been behaving funny since last wednesday when he left my place with a frown,he refused to pick my calls nor call me and did not bother to come to my place.I thought it was a joke initially because i cant understand why somebody of his status and maturity should be that petty.For crying out loud,this guy is married and will do anything to proctect his family even sacrifice me if there is need as there is nothing binding us together and i see no reason why he has to know every litttle thing that goes on in my life. Though i might be single and looking for where to put my head but thats not to say i can not have freedom to associate with others in as much as i know what iam doing.
I had to forget my ego and pride yesterday and go looking for him,I had earlier asked a link in their company if he is around.The secretary was kind of uptight and cant blame her as she must be used to all kind of girls distubing her boss, she just said i need to have an appointment before i can see him and i was like take my note in and if he says he cant see me-its ok then.Luckily,the driver and his P.A. walked in and they talked to her and she eventually took the note in and he asked her to allow me in. As i entered his office,he was backing my view,pretending as if he was looking at something of interest through the window.Sensing that he is still feeling somehow,i walked up to where he was and knelt down,that iam sorry and did intend to make him jealous.He just looked at me and said okay but with lots of meaning.We chatted for a while though i did more of the talking and he promise to see me later today.Its really a man 's world-head or tail they win.

Men are like babies who love to be pampered and always want to be the centre of attraction.My man was with me yesterday evening to welcome me back and after all the loving,he wanted to know everything that happened at the conference and and the people i met and hope i did not mingle much with the guys.I knew he wanted to know if someone tried to get close to me,knowing that he met me too at a conference and i just laughed.I noticed he was kind of moody after that because i refused to recast everything that happened-just imagine that nonsense,the fact that iam with him despite my parent objection should let him know i care and that does not give him the right to want to know everything that happening in my life.We parted in annoyance and belief me,i have no regret.He is eating his cake and having it at the sametime which i could tolerate and he still want to cage me and monitor my life-that i will not take,he just have to trust me.

The last one week was so hectic that i did even have time to update my diary.I went for a week program in canada,initially my M.D was like the cost was too much and he just called me upper friday that the board approved it and had to go that weekend.I had little or no time to pack and do the needful.The Conference was educating and enriching,I learnt so much about new development in telecommunication in advance countries.The participants were from various countries and we had opportunities to know about happenings in other countries telecommunication wise.I made a lot of friends,both males and females and at the end of the conference,we were all like one big family.The conference wasnt just about learning,we had fun too and you can imagine me getting the attention of the men.My dear did not give me space to think of getting close to any of the guy as he kept me busy with phone calls. The guy that was pestering my life for a relationship had to ask me if iam married and just pretending that iam still single because he calls at every opportunity to assure himself that i have not taking my mother advice to look elsewhere-Men so jealous and possessive.