London is damn so cold,i cant wait to get back to my base.No matter how bad we painted our country-Nigeria,its still the best despite all the shortcomings and no place like home.I had the intention of staying in my sister's place in SW and my friend to stay with his friend somewhere around as it will be economical and at the same time, gist with my family and him with his friends but we change our mind on sunday and decided to stay in the hotel since we are adult and no point pretending .

Since that sunday,we have been comforting each other from the effect of the cold.

I will be off tonight to London for the Xmas and New year celebration as my boss eventually granted me two week off and the gist of it all is ,iam going with my friend-thats a long story which i will document when i get back.I wish you all merry xmas and prosperous new year and hopeful and wishfully,my dreams come true next year-not to continue to be extra bag-cheerio

Just like yesterday, another XMAS & NEW YEAR is here. We have every reason to thank God for HIS Mercies. Its really been a chequered year i guess,but still thank HIM,because you are alive!

Yes,i know you expected God to have done XYZ, but are you sure he has not done it?

For a Woman who took in June 2006,the physical evidence SHALL ONLY be in 2007,except it be premature,but God really and truly prepares and matures us for HIS Blessing. She SHALL undoubtedly carry it over to 2007.

Does that mean God hasn't answered her?

Even in Business Financials,we do have balance BROUGHT FORWARD or CARRIED OVER!!!

THINK OF IT,AS YOU DEVOUR THE CHICKEN!!!

Best Regards
Sisi

I never knew that incidence could affect me so much,this was a guy i knew from youth and the parent are like mine and i was beginning to like him and was even ready to dump my good old dear despite all he has done in my life.Its never be the same with me since that day,i tried to rationalise the whole thing but didnt jell.He was in my house very early on saturday,when my bell rang,i thought its was my vendor but alas na him my face see and despite all my bragado,something melted in my heart and i saw that stress on his face and for a second,i pitied him.

I was confused whether to allowed him in or not as i wasnt sure of myself again as that feeling just surface -i now know why we ladies stucked on to a dead affair-that feeling could be hard to kill like that.I eventually allowed him in and immediately he entered he just fell flat on the floor and was almost weeping for me to give him chance to explain himself and it wasnt what i thought,i couldnt just allowed that-he is a man for christ sake and no matter what-he is still a man and should be respected.I begged him to stand up and that i will give him the audience but hope he is not there to cajole me into something which iam not ready to do.

He now narrated how the wife just surface fron nowhere to say she is in the country to sort out some personal issue and since they are not divorcee yet,she still have a stake in their joint acquistion and that she will be there for a month and i wonder within me what kind of arrangement is that-is either she doesnt want to go through the divorcee again or he is lying to me but i didnt argue or asked any question .When he finished his story,i told him i hold him no grudge and i still see him as my friend and brother which he refused to accept as he said he never want to be that but the man in my life.

Since there is no point in arguing,i just offered him a coffee but God help me,my feeelings for him is still strong and wish he could just stay away from me as i think i ve fallen in love with him-shoooooooooo

My eye see no be small yesterday,i promise my friend to see him sometime during the week when we met at my parent church as we did not go together as he wanted.I decided to surprise him yesterday as i close early and since he is a home person, he hardly goes out after 8pm except his friends are around and need to give them fun .I just drove straight to his house without calling him,when i got there i noticed that the mallam was fidgeting and looking at me somehow without saying anything,i asked for his oga and he just said he dey.

I pressed the bell and behold the wife opened the door and i was shocked but quickly compose myself.She just said can i help you which i said i want to see so so so person and she asked me to come in.I was confused and just sat there in their living room like a dummy,it took a while before he came out and was somehow embarrassed too but he played it well.As soon as he saw me,he just said what a surprise to see you and what are you doing in my area and i understood perfectly the impression he was trying to give the wife.Though i should have called him ahead( in this era of GSM ) but he should have told me his wife is back as i thought we are close enough though i have not been responding to his call in recent time but we saw on sunday and he could have hinted me.I told him i came to see a friend of mine near by and since its been a while we saw and his mummy is always telling me he asked after me,i just decided to drop by and say hello.He just use that opportunity to introduced his wife and that iam his childhood friend and we ve lost contact for long and met sometime ago at the family church and we exchage addresses.

I could not wait for long before i took my leave and i cant still understand why he did not tell me his wife is back.I felt so terrible last night not because he is with his wife but for believing him and allowing myself to get involved.I cried for being a fool though he called me severally but i refused to listen to any tales by moonlight.

December is always a busy month in my office and social commitment too is so much as friends and families can not understand why you can not make their function and it has become a big task to update my diary.My schedule in the office is hectic and weekend is not spared as well, as we always have one function or the other. It a sort of blessing somehow as i have reason not to see my friends or what do i call them now though i miss them in a way but i need to make a decision no matter how hard it could be.I want to start the new year with a definate plan and be focussed as i dont need all that stress at my age and level.Both have been calling me as if they are competing and iam not finding the whole thing funny again,iam not cut out for all that.The amount of energy involved in two timing is something else and i hate scandal of any sort-you can imagine what will happen if by chance they met in my house again,the tension will be too much for me to bear.

I have a function to attend in my parent church tomorrow as one of our family friend's daughter is getting married and my friend want us to go there together but i dont want to give wrong impression to the church member and i want to go as they have been wonderful to my family but how do i go about it as my friend will definately be there as he is related to them and what do i tell him?

After reading all the reactions I got from my readers, I pondered over them and could not but agreed with their submission. I know iam unique in the sight of God and there is a man for every woman and all I need to do is wait for my own and he will surely come at the appointed time but why are we having so many unmarried ladies despite having good upbringing, cultured and all that and dont forget the ratio of women to men based on population figure? Don’t give me that excuse of how did they spend their youth as I know quite a lot of ladies in my undergraduate days who are reckless and more or less glorified prostitutes and now they are laughing at us-the bookwormers and born again but today they are in their husband house,they are even the ones who gloat over our situation now.

I do not want to shortchange myself but he who wears the shoes knows where it pinches. I would love to date a young eligible bachelor but where I can not get one and the ones i met are out to swindle me and now get somebody who belief in me and care for me-should I say No because I don’t want the world to see me as husband snatcher and don’t forget we are in Africa where polygamy is part of the culture whether we like it or not,right it look bad to the wife but what about my feelings and dont forget some women make it their choice to be second wife, what do we say to that. I am not justifying my action but we must accept the fact that we all can be in the same boat.

Another reaction;

Lady, I suggest you get a life and leave other women’s men alone. If you don’t see any man that will love you for the unique person that you’re, love other people by contributing to your community one way or another with your time to make other people happy (stop being selfish for a while and think about other people’s happiness and feelings), because the more you give, the more you’ll receive in return, (rubbish in, rubbish out, period) who knows, by so doing, you’ll be found by, or you’ll find the single, unmarried “love of your life”, why do you want to steal from another woman’s pot of affection, and eat smelly and foul crumbs from other women’s table like a rejected stray dog?

Here are a lists of things I propose you do with your precious time instead of goofing around with Mr. No-Good-Losers who are out to use you and dump you for the next hot pant:

1. Since you live in Nigeria, find the closest orphanage and visit them on weekends and ask them for ways you can help around with the children there. Play with the children and help feed, cloth and read stories to them. Take some of them out with your car (I’m sure they will love that very much) and visit the library with them and read with them.

2. Visit your local church (one of integrity, not all this cockroach churches all over the place in that country) and find out from the pastors what you can do to help them around the church.

3. If you’re not the churchy kind, act as a mentor to the boys and girls in your neighborhood, you can mentor them to be better leaders of tomorrow. Take the girls out shopping, help with their homework or even give them some minor homework of your own, arrange sleepover parties, talk with them about issues and current affairs. The boys too can be mentored by you, take them out to lunch sometimes, help with their school work, etc all these with the permission of their parents of course, and please try to keep your eyes of their fathers (I know some fathers can be hunks, but be a good girl).

4. These are a few suggestions to start with, you can come up with more if you really think about it and consider…

I got this from a reader and it really touch my heart and I want to share it with you all:

Please, surround yourself with positive people. Stand for what you know is right. Walk with your head held high because you are beautifully made. You have a career. You can do this. Call these loser men and tell them it's over. If you don't trust yourself to do it in person, do it over the phone or get a friend to go with you. That's what friends are for. You don't want a friend that does not let you know when you fall. A friend that sees no wrong in what you do is not a friend. But you don't want a friend who derives pleasure in putting you down either. Worst case scenario; tell these men you'll tell their wives if they mess with you. Stand by it. Change your numbers if you have to. Relocate if you have to. Go to the gym when you feel bored. Hang out with good friends and/or families. Read books. Travel. Help out in orphanage. Write a book. Cook. Before you know it, you'll be stronger and more focused. Note that I did not suggest “Go to Church”. Pastors are often very manipulative people. It’s no telling who is of God.

I believe that the best way to avoid falling into the wrong hands is by first being in touch with oneself. Know who you are inside and outside as you would your best novel. Develop your self-esteem. You can read your bible while you are doing this. Pray fervently within the walls of your home and ask God to lead you to the right church and people. Once you’ve strengthened the mind and body, go to Church. Church is about fellowshipping with others, but must people turn it into a religious battle ground were the richest, greediest, most manipulative... survive. Go to church to fellowship but refuse to be told by a man what God’s plan is for your life. You can pray together with others and for others, but it is you that know where the shoe hurts and how best to ask for the ointment you need from God. He is your God and can speak to you once you’ve cleansed you body and soul. He did not need a middle man to create you so why should he need one to orchestrate your steps? Don’t fall prey to a power-hungry man playing God as we see around very often. The right man can then see the person you really are. These men have their lives (warped as it is). Refuse to let them hinder you from getting a darn good life.

I am sure there are people who love and care about you, but you need to let them see why they love you; the good person you are. Believe me, it takes a good person to write what you write especially your last entry. Bad people don’t reflect on what they do. I wish you the very best as you begin this journey. Remember, the wrong choices you’ve made do not define you. But the mistakes you refuse to correct are going to put a dent in your future. That’s just how life is. It is well, my sister. I look forward to reading your testimony. Lest I forget, please, do not buy into the “I don’t need a man for anything” idea that is beginning to suck into our culture as well. Yes, I am an advocate of being happily single. But I also know the good things that come with being with that right one. It’s not going to be perfect, no. You sef are not perfect so why should you expect a perfect man. But a good man should not have to cost more than he has to offer; financially, emotionally, psychologically, esteem-wise… While I believe no one should put their lives on hold while searching for the right man (live your single life and be happy in your state with all you’ve achieved), but also be realistic enough to recognize whether or not you want a man. If you decide you do want one, rather than settle for stolen moments, weigh your choices and select the best who is not going to require you sacrificing yourself. You going to have to let go of some independence and compromise a little, but you should never have to compromise your dignity and self. ***************