There is a time to say byebye to love ones,not because you dont want to see their faces or hear from them again but to move on to a greater thing.I have received quite a lot of mails and e-cards from my friends and otherwise out there and i must say i appreciate them all.I ve made up my mind to leave my past life and begin afresh with another focuss,knowing that iam specially created by God and should not shortchange myself bcos of societal pressure.The lady i met the other day at the eatery introduced me to a better life through christ and i have dedicated my life to him and with his grace,all my heart desire will be fulfilled. Once again,a big thank you to all and i wish you all the very best in your endeavours.

He was in my office yesterday evening,looking downcasted as if the world is falling on him.I welcome him into my office but as soon as the door was shut,i told him he should keep off me and give me space to clear my head before listening to any story.He was adamant and refused to leave without making me understand some things which he tried to tell me the other day when i met his wife in his house but that i did not allowed hin to clear any misgiving i had.He started his story by telling me how they met through his friend from school and before he knows it,they were married nine months after and they were so much in love and how her parent assisted them and were instrumental to his starting his own business and with their contact,he was able to make a headway and he will forever be grateful to them but on their own side,the issue of infertility has been a problem and they consulted different doctors but nothing happened and after eight years and the pressure was much on both of them from his and her parent and it got to a point that his wife agreed that he should try elsewhere but he didnt want to do that but you know men will always be men and along the line,a girl got impregnated and he couldnt do anything than to accept and he got a boy from the affair and thats the boy i saw his photograph .It was tough for him to tell his wife but he did and since then,their relationship is never the same until one day she decided that she want to call the marriage off and after much pleading from various quarters even her family,he got home one day and realised that she is gone. He later got to know she relocated to the states and was surprise to received her lawyer's letter and he never contested it and decided to move on untill she surface from nowhere the last time i saw her in his house and since they are not formally divorce ,the house belong to her as well.He said he is really sorry for the embarrassment and know that time will take care of all that and that he really want to be with me!i did not know what to make of the whole story and i just said i still need the space and i will call him when i feel better and ready to discuss.

I think i need to go for a deliverance this year as all kind of things i never envisage keep happening in my life.After the last episode with my oga's wife,i deliberately refuse to have contact with him until he sort himself out with his wife and iam sure she is not going to embarrass me again.Alas,a bigger one was in stock for me-after my friend got back and with the way his parent accepted me,i took it for granted that probably all he is been saying were actually true but yesterday the wife sister saw us at a eatery in V/I and was coming towards our direction but my friend met her halfway and before i knew it,she started shouting that you this ingrate,if you think you can just use my sister and dump her-you are in for a joke and you better tell that slut with you to start running because i will embarrass her throughly and i was alarmed,i wondered whats my business with their matter.My friend just politely asked me to get a cab that he will meet at home,imagine that shame in a public place and as i was going out she increased her drama as she saw that everybody there was looking out for the offender.Yeye girl,old mama,go and look for your own husband and stop hypnotising other people husband-humiliation was an understatement and all my friend could say was respect yourself and stop embarrasing my guest.All eyes were on me as i was rushing out but luckily a good samaritan offered to drop me anywhere to get me out of the place.As i entered the car,i just started crying and telling the lady the story of my life,how can the world be so cruel to me-all i want is my own happiness and not to hurt anybody.The lady allowed me to cry and narrate all my story but just said you have to take heart,we are all passing through one frustration or the other and i should not let it weigh me down,she dropped me in my house and we exhange our cards.When i got home.i just switched off the phone and off all the light.

My friend got back saturday night and was at the airport to picked him.On our way from the airport,he noticed that i was aloof somehow and wanted to know why and why my mood have been somehow after i got back to Nigeria and i just told him to give me time and that i will tell him at the appropriate time but i know that i will never tell him as its not his business and need not know everything that happened to me.

We got to his place and noticed that everywhere looked calm and he himself is relaxed and i concluded his madam might have gone back or not around.I followed him inside and he asked me to come to his room which i told him i was okay and he tried to play loverboy role but wasnt impressed as i still have a lot of issues to deal with including his case.He wanted me to sleepover but i declined,he later suggested we go to our family church tomorrow so that after the service,we can go and see his parent and mine and he can give them their gift and just said okay and left.

As soon as i got in,my landline rang and i picked it and he was sounding lovey and why i just like treating him anyhow and he believe that after all we shared during the holiday we have move beyond just friendship to something deeper but it seems something is holding me back and i told him nothing and that i just needed my space.He wanted to start about his wife issue if thats whats bothering me but i just told him we can discuss that another day and will appreciate it if we suspend the discussion and he took the clue that i wasnt in good mood for that.

Everything went well on sunday except that the parent were just doing as if iam already their wife and trust my mother to encourage them.I was just smilling all through like a new wife and he commented on that on our way home and i just said is that not what he want and he said yes madam.Iam just so confuse,putting myself in dicey situations.I dont want to bring his wife issue up so quick as i want him to sort out himself without pushinmg but i need to know where i stand and move on with my life no matter how painful.

The big oga got back yesterday night and called from the airport to know whether iam in the right frame of mind to talk to him since he is being trying to talk to me on phone and i refused to picked his calls and i just said he can go ahead if he has anything to say to me.He started blabbing on how he never expected his wife to go that far from what his sister told him and he is really upset with her but i should give him time to sort it out and she must definately apologise to me for the embarrasssment! and that i must know that if he was around she dare not do that nonsense.I just cut him short and told him to tell his wife that i do not have any business with her and as such,she should stay clear of me and if not,she is not going to find it funny as iam not that stupid to have taking it lightly with her and just dropped the call without waiting for his response.

I was suprised to see him at my door about an hour later and since i dont want the busybody around to listen to whatever we had to say,i had to allowed him in.As soon as he entered,he just held me and went on his knee that i should just forgive him and forget the whole episode and that he will make up for it.I was really embarrassed and had to tell him to just get up and talk like adult,i mean-men are just selfish and will do anything to get whatever they want.Forgive and forget indeed!with all the embarassment she put me through and you can imagine how the people on my street will be looking at me and making snide remarks.He left when he realised i wasnt ready to listen to all his cock and bull story but despite all my bravado,that man is damn too good to me and cant just be abandon anyhow-i think i care about him him more than i think i do because immediately he stepped out,i felt like calling him back and comfort him......................................shoooooooo

Despite all the negative comments i got on my last two posts,i still have to document the update.My girl friend was in my house on friday on her way home from office,she said she called my office and was told i called in sick and she tried to reached me on my cell but was switched off and she was so worried.She was able to bring me out of that mood and she even joke that the woman was too lenient with me,that she should just have given me a mark to remember her for life and later asked me to follow her to her aunty's 60th birthday on saturday and i accepted to make her know that i have put that in the past.

Alas,my problem just began.I got to her house as scheduled and her hussy decided that two of us should go to the party and he, goes to his friend's own.We got there as the party was just picking up and sat with her other cousins and enjoying ourselves as her other friends were there too and as i just looked up,i saw the woman and as if by telepathy she saw me too and was pointing to me and all her friends were looking towards our direction.I called my friend attention to it and she just said i should just ignored her and i was like maybe we should leave before she create any scene.My friend assured me that she will not do that as she is educated and she has made her point to me and she wouldnt want to ridicule herself.Before we know what was happening,she and her friends have moved towards our canopy but my friend was just reassuring me that she cant do anything but as they got to our table,they just started singing abusive songs and as if they planned it,the musician started praising her and telling all her enemies to jump into lagoon and if they think they can take her husband-won kere si no yen.There was nothing they did not do to provoked me but i kept calm but resolve within myself that i will show her that i hold the ace.We left the place without bidding her aunty bye.

On our way back to her place,my friend asked me to pick her husband call anytime he calls as my refusing to picked his calls might be disastrous as we never know what she can do again and somebody have to call her to order.By the time we got to her house,her hussy was still in and she narracted what happened to him and he was like i should just take it easy that when the man comes he will know what to do but me no say na beginning of the battle.

Its been hectic for the last two days as i had to go for a conference in ogere and by the time we finished for the day,iam always so tired that to think of writting will be like a burden but its worth it as i learnt a lot and met quite a lot of professionals from different fields and it really broaden my knowledge and i enjoyed the discussions.What else can i say than thank you oh lord-i have good health,good job and iam believing for other good things of life to make me a complete woman.

I must not forget to say a big thank you to all my friends out there who drop a line or two to either condemn or just advice me that i appreciate them and pray that their daughters or themselves will never be in a position that will make them live the way i do(Amen).Its very easy to condemn especially married women who preaches righteousness,yes they are married and have every right to proctect their territory but also,dont forget that some of us never plan to be a second fiddle to anybody but life draw up all kind of challenges.When i decided to make my diary public,i expected different reactions but iam glad,i dont bottle up my feelings again and it makes life easier for me as in the process,i meet quite a lot of genuine friends who offers advice and some even pray with me but i belief its a free world and for now i remain who iam and not who you think iam.

I had to call in sick today as iam in a terrible mood and dont want to take that to office and just be snapping on everybody around.Can you imagine that the woman have the gut to call my house yesterday night again?only God knows how she got my number.She just started screaming and calling me all sort of names and that her informant told her she never knew i wasnt related to her husband and that she has seen him on several occassions on his way from or to my house and the explanation he gave the first time was that he came to see his niece and she believed him.She even said she is ready to go any length to get her man and if i love my life,i should stay clear.I just held on to the phone,listening to her nonsense talk and when she saw that i wasnt saying anything,she just said you will hear from me and dropped in annoyance.

As soon as i dropped the phone,i called oga's sister to tell her what their wife did to me and that they should warn her to stop harrassing me if she doesnt want me to call the police and that its out of respect for the family not her that i have restrained myself from giving it to her,afterall i didnt force her husband and in any case if she is that good,her husband wouldnt be running after me.She should go and examine herself and make amends and sort out herself with her husband and not me because she has no business with me and if she doesnt take it easy,i will now reconsider my stand against her husband.The woman pleaded with me to take it easy and will call his brother to call me and she promise she will never do that again.I now understand my mother feeling towards my earlier stand on my oga-haba!

I got the shock of my life yesterday,my oga wife saw her husband's car in my compound on her way somewhere around my area and decided to find out what the car was doing there.He is out of town and had called earlier in the day that his driver will dropped some things in my house and not to sound impolite,i just said okay and it landed me into wahala.I just heard an argument outside and what wondering what happened and immediate i opened my door and saw her,i knew there will be trouble.

I politely greeted her and asked her what i could do for her and she just said excuse me,what do you mean?I saw my husband's car here and i have every right to ask questions and who are you by the way.The driver came out at that point to tell her that his oga asked him to dropped a message with me for my boss and she just screamed"boss ko trailer ni"and how do you know her house and why through her when you can go straight to the boss.Anyway,we shall see when he comes back and i hope its not the items i got for him for his friend's daughter-man can lie!.She just switched back to me and said listen and listen good,nobody and i mean nobody can take my husband and you better look elsewhere or else -------i did not even wait to hear it all as neighbours were already wondering what was happening.

I was really boilling inside as i did not solicit for the gift and i have tried to tell the man to leave me indirectly but is adarmant.This is same woman that he was saying she is gentle and can never come and challenge me and see the drama she is performing over car and not even seeing the man with me.I called my girlfriend to tell her what happened and she was like hope she did not do anything nasty and i better come down to her place and i told her she shouldnt worry,ten of her type cannot rattle me if i mean business.As i was justl getting over that my friend's call came in and i just snapped on him to leave me alone and dropped-two of a kind.

My mother finally left Saturday morning with an understanding between us, I agreed with her point but she has to give me time and continue to pray for me. As we were about driving out, my oga drove in; he said he was coming from gym and decided to kill two birds with one stone and since Muhammad refused to go to mountain, mountain has decided to come to Muhammad. I just did not know what to say and was just confused-my mother spoke at length on my relationship with him and how she will be glad if I leave him for his wife and since he is not even ready to marry me but make me a kept woman, I should forget him and I assured her that we are now friends and hardly see except occasional call if necessary.

To add salt to the injury, the man called my mother-my in-law and she just politely answered him and was just frowning her face. I greeted him casually and told him we were just on our way out to drop my mother and the guy just pretended as if he didn’t know he was making me uncomfortable by his presence so early. He told my mother he would gladly do that on his way and that he had the intention of calling from my place to greet the family and report my behavior to them-imagine that gut.He eventually dropped my mummy.

My friend called from Dubai that day to say hello and also to ask me to do something for him but wasn’t comfortable discussing anything personal with him because my mother was there and iam too sure she was all ear and just pretended as if she was doing other things. I was just answering yes and no, which wasn’t okay for the discussion but I didn’t want her to add up things from my response. After about five minutes, I guess he knew I wasn’t communicating properly and now asked if he should call next day, which I gladly said yes. I just went straight to bed thereafter, as I knew she would want to hear something, which I wasn’t ready to go into.

As soon as I got in yesterday, my dear mummy face was just up and that means she was ready to face me and had to bring mine down as we cant continue to be playing hide and seek game and since we never really sat down to talk like mother and daughter since she arrived, I owed her that. I started playing my good girl by asking her if we could go for a drink at Ikoyi Club, which she rejected instantly, ordinarily, she will love that. She said she is in my house to relax and spend quality time with me and realised that I was avoiding her because I feel she is intruding into my affairs but she mean well and that she will not leave me alone until I do the proper thing i.e.get married and have kids. That she understand that we cant all have it same way but civilization can not change a woman role in Africa setting and no matter who iam, its nothing if I don’t have a crown-okay now and she just started crying.

I allowed her to cry if that will relief her and had to say something not to look insensitive. I told her I appreciate their effort but I cannot kill myself and since she does not want to hear anything about my oga (na blackmail) and her arrangee friend son situation is not clear to me and yet to get any other person, they should continue to pray and that iam positive this year will be my year !

I got this from yankeenaijachick blog and i love it and decided to share it with my love ones:

Don't date because you are desperate.
Don't marry because you are miserable.
Don't have kids because you think your genes are superior.
Don't act stupid because you think you are irresistible.

Don't associate with people you can't trust.
Don't cheat. Don't lie. Don't pretend.
Don't dictate because you are smarter.
Don't demand because you are stronger.

Don't sleep around because you think you are old enough and know better.
Don't hurt your kids because loving them is harder.
Don't sell yourself,your family, or your ideals.
Don't stagnate.

Don't regress.
Don't live in the past. Time can't bring anything or anyone back.
Don't put your life on hold for possibly Mr/Mrs Right. Don't throw your lifeaway on absolutely Mr Wrong because your biological clock is ticking.

Learn a new skill.
Find a new friend.
Start a new career.
Sometimes, there is no race to be won. Only a price to be paid for some of life's more hasty decisions.

To terminate your loneliness, reach out to the homeless.
To feed your nurturing instincts, care for the needy.
To fulfill your parenting fantasies, get a puppy.
Don't bring another life into this world for all the wrong reasons.

To make yourself happy, pursue your passions and be the best of whatyoucan be. Simplify your life. Take away the clutter.
Get rid ofdestructive elements: abusive friends, nasty habits, and dangerous liaisons.
Don't abandon your responsibilities but don't overdose on
duty.

Don't live life recklessly without thought and feeling for your family.
Be true to yourself.
Don't commit when you are not ready.
Don't keep others waiting needlessly.

Go on that trip. Don't postpone it.
Say those words. Don't let the moment pass.
Do what you have to, even at society's scorn.

Write poetry.
Love Deeply.
Walk barefoot.
Dance with wild abandon.
Cry at the movies.

Take care of yourself.
Don't wait for someone to take care of you. You
light up your life. You drive yourself to your destination.
No one completes you - except YOU.

It is true that life does not get easier with age. It only gets more challenging.
Don't be afraid.
Don't lose your capacity to love.
Pursue your passions.

Live your dreams.
Don't lose faith in your God.
Don't grow old. Just grow YOU!

Great point for 2007...........if you make a mistake the first time , it's not your fault. The second time, it's your fault. The third time , you are a fool.

I got home last night only to see my mother at the gate and was like why is she behaving like motherhen.Iam an adult and for Christ sake i don’t need all that,I deserve to have my space but welcome her all the same.She says she misses me and since we never had time together during the festive period,she decided to come and spend three days with me and i was like yee this woman has come again but will not give her the face to start all that her talk-I need to be left alone to chart the course of my life.She came with her special delicacies that can last till God knows when,since i hardly take heavy food in the night but i thank her for the gesture.

After she rested,she stated her discussions with all the owambe she attended with her friends-who and who got wedded as if thats was the only thing that happened in my absence and pray that this year will be mine and she will see all her grandchildren before she goes beyond as if she already know when she will die.I refused to show interest and she progressed by asking after my oga as if she cares and i said i guess he is fine since i know that will suit her and it means i have not seen him for a while.If she think she is smart,i will play along with her.She tactically asked after my friend and that the mother said we were in UK together and that i just stepped out when he called her-imagine that nonsense.I just told her i needed to rest as i wasnt feeling well and have an appointment with a client somewhere very early next day-What a narrow escape from her interview and as i was just jubilating over that,my phone rang and guess who called?

Its nice to be back to my country where i dont have to dress up like babasuwe to survive the weather and still work my ass to pick bills no matter the weather situation,i really miss everything-the hussling and bustling of Lagos.Yes no light,no good road and name whatever despite all the lapses,no place compare to my Niger- i love my country.

I got in sunday night without my friend as he has some business to tidy up in Dubai and was surprise to see my oga at the airport as i intended to get a cab home.I did not want to start the new year with argument or unnecessay imterogation,i just pretended as if i was expecting him and gave him a hug.You can never tell with this men,one minute they are all over you and in another moment,they care less.My new year resolution is not to push issue and allow things to take care of itself since iam not married to either of them,i owe them no loyalty.As soon as he dropped me at home and offered him a drink and i noticed he was too relaxed and guess probably has other expectations,i just ptetended as if i was still jetlagged and all he was saying,i was just saying heeeeeeeeeee,heeeeeeee

This year is my year and even if i ended up being somebody extra,i want to be convince iam happy with the arrangement not as a last resort.I have everything to thank God for in my life,husband or no husband-yes its good to be married to somebody but i think iam not going to stress myself again,the will of God in my life will be done.I met a lady while i was away,she is in her 50s and looking 30s and not married but contented with her life and she is still optimistic that her own will come and if its doesnt,she is still herself and make her no less happy and i knew immediately why she is looking so good at her unbelievable age.She made me understand that i should never let pressure drove me to what i will regret later,that its better to be happily single than unhappily married and thats my term for the year.

The activities in the office is low and no stress for now as business is yet to pick up and we are all still in that new year mood.My friend has lot of gist for me on happenings while i was away but need to tidied up my table before i can have time for that.My mother called to say welcome this afternoon and of course to do amebo but i delibarately didnt say anything personal to her as i know she called not just to say hello but to get update on my life.

I have been on the move for some days now with my restless cousin and had no chance to update my diary.This year will be a good year for all of us and may God direct our leader to have a rethink in the way they direct the affair of our dear country.This country is blessed with material and human resources and we need to just make concrete effort individually and collectively to make things work,Government alone can not do it.

Any time iam outside the country,my heart bleeds when i see how system works and the allegiance of the citizens to their country and my country who is suppose to be giant in Africa is just going down in all respect.My fellow nigers who have no reason to be abroad are doing dirty jobs to survive in UK and elsewhere,i blame our Government who can not provide enabling environment to become anything you want to,able bodied men are being wasted when they should be contributing to the economy of their country.

How time flies,my leave will be over by Monday and iam expected back on seat.Iam coming back back with lots of energy and love written all over my face and guess what my ego was boosted with all the marchmaking and toasting i got from yonder and God,men will always be men anywhere in the world,i always think skirt chasing is a Niger thing but was suprise with the offer from left,right and centre and even married ones too are not left out of the chase and i wonder why they cant get a wife from the availables there.London na real Lagos with just a little difference,so much gragra and posing among Nigers and i wouldnt mention the under G going on there-Men and Women matter no go spoil the world